Eating Disorders...

In honor of eating disorders awareness day, I have decided to blog about an issue that has become apart of my life through my loved ones. Just recently, I've had two friends tell me that they hate their bodies. These are not just ordinary friends, they are my best friends. Neither of them know each other, and neither of them will ever meet each other. It is safe to say that the negative images that they have for themselves didn't come from each other, but rather that they came from societies expectation for the female form. In reality, these women are beautiful, but society and the media has told them that they are not. Because they believe they are not beautiful they have developed eating disorders. What do you even say to a loved one when you see that they aren't eating because life has told them that they are not perfect enough?

How does one judge perfection? Because one of those friends was a model for a very professional agency. To me, that sounds like she has one hell of a  perfect body image, and she used to be proud of her accomplishment. That is until she was fired because she wasn't  size 0. She was a size 2, and now, since she has been overly obsessive about her body for a few years, she may be even thinner than size 0. I know a lot of women that would die to have her body and her image. I try everyday to tell her that she is beautiful, but I know now that she will  never listen to me because we are best friends and to her I am "Biased". She feels that I am supposed to say that because I love her, but no one I know, has ever called her unfortunate looking.

I mean just look at her. Honestly, can you tell me that she isn't gorgeous? Because I think she is amazing not only because she is my friend, but because it's true, and I am disgusted by the people in her life that would tell her otherwise.

My other friend is a similar story. She literally works her butt off to maintain her image, she really believes that if she wants to be a school teacher, she needs to look beautiful or else no one will hire her. That also is an attitude she developed from people that tell her she isn't good enough. She hears it from people, and she's seen it on TV, that women are suppose to look a certain way in order to make a difference. But why should being a school teacher depend on self image? Shouldn't it depend on how well a person educates somebody else? I think it should. So why is there so much pressure for women to look a certain way? Because I know she has potential to change the lives of the children she wants to teach.

I think both of my best friends are AMAZING and I hope that they can see that one day. But right now, neither of them wants to get help, so that they can see how beautiful they really are. I'm afraid to know what will happen if neither of them become comfortable with their bodies, because I don't want either of them to look like the picture below, in the future.

Expectations Run Solid

One expectation that I have for working with 9to5 is that I will be going out of my comfort zone to participate with them. Leaving my comfort zone includes talking to strangers, to convince them to get involved with the event that I am helping to plan. I've always had a weird attitude toward talking to strangers, and I've always wondered why? But I can't help it. The reason that I have this expectation is because it was mentioned in the very first meeting with my organization that some of us may have to make connections so that we can make this event possible.So far, this expectation has been unfounded, because I have been very comfortable with my participation in the group. However, I have only spent 3 hours with them, and my boundaries might be pushed a little more as our work progresses.

Another expectation that I have is that everything that I will be doing with my organization will be and can be done in an office. I don't expect to actually leave the building to participate in my service learning, because I am in charge of creating designs for flyer's and save the date invitations. But I would like to go out and look at event venues if I get bored of sitting at a computer screen. So far, this expectation has been unfounded because my very first day was so exciting. It was exciting because for an entire hour, I was at a rally protesting against a bill that I disagree with. At least I got to go out and do something that I enjoyed, which means that the organization is already exceeding my expectations. Which leads to a happier participation, I think.

9 to 5

Blogging is fun. Especially when you are presented with prompts assigned by a professor to create a challenge. But let's not forget that there is an even bigger assignment that deserves attention. It's time for me to look at the big picture, and to evaluate the reason that I enrolled in a class called Gender and Communication. Originally, I enrolled because it meets a requirement of mine to graduate. However, I've discovered that  it really is about much more.

For Gender and Communication, each student enrolled must participate in at least 12 hours of service learning at an organization that involves both gender and communication.

Last week, I experienced my first meeting with an organization called 9 to 5,which has dedicated itself to handling discrimination and sexism in the work force for 35 years. However, the office that I am working in will be celebrating its 15 year anniversary on August 26th, 2011. To commemorate their anniversary I will help plan an event/fundraiser for them. I have been so excited to get involved, and through much anticipation, I started my first day of service learning today.

The day started like any other, I road the bus to the 9 to 5 office on Broadway and began to walk up to the elevator. Suddenly, I was interrupted by one of the office members. She told me that we were going to a rally to protest on account of the bill that Wisconsin has created to make everyone miserable in the work world. I couldn't believe it, this was exactly the type of involvement that I didn't expect, but it felt great to go fourth and show my support toward this issue. The rally was how I spent my first hour of service learning, and I had a great time. Sometimes it seems that humanity has lost its solidarity for others. But when you attend a rally where everyone is supporting each other, because they are all truly passionate about killing a bill that no one seems to want, it brings back the solidarity a little more. People really do come together when they understand that something is unjustified. It was amazing.

When the rally settled down, we returned to the office. Where I spent the next three hours designing a save the date invitation for the event in August that I am helping to plan. I took alot of time to make sure that the invites looked neat and proffessional. After all I am an intern, and perfection is my job.

Lesbian Feminism

This weeks assignment in Gender and Communication class was to read the text and distinguish what women's or men's movement I identify most with. After carefully studying up on the movements, I decided to blog about "Lesbian Feminism".

I'd say that I identify most with this movement because of a couple of things, but let me pinpoint the obvious one: Sexual Orientation. I am a lesbian, and I think that orientation is an important role when identifying with this particular type of feminism. Sure, I may not agree with parts of the movement, but I needed to choose one, and so I'm sticking with what I know best.

"The Radical Lesbian" political movement evolved with the notion that women posess a lot of power without men by their sides or dictating their beliefs, which excluded men from the movement all together. That being said, there was an awful lot of dispute about whether lesbianism had anything to do with politics or if it was only about human sexuality. In fact, when lesbian feminism was first thrown into the women's movement, it was frowned upon by a lot of other feminists, because it seemed like a "joke" in the world of political feminism. However, one thing is certain, if the radical lesbians did not fight for their place in the movement, the history of lesbian feminism might have been erased, and I wouldn't be writing this blog.

Perhaps another reason (besides my orientation) that I identify most with lesbian feminism is because I believe that women should not be dominated by the opposite sex. I strongly believe that the power and political power of each sex should be equivalent in the way that neither is dominant or powerless.

Needless to say, learning about lesbian feminism has been pretty inspiring. Not just because I didn't know anything about it, but because of the history that Radical Lesbians have been through just to earn a place in the women's movement. Reading about it makes me want to educate myself more about my culture, not only as a lesbian but also a woman. In doing this, I can better understand myself.

The Expectation of Gender

What does it mean to live up to the expectations of society for gender? This week in class I was asked by my professor, about my first distant memory of expectations for my gender. Then, I was asked about my most recent memory of expectations for my gender.

These are both very tough questions to answer. Mainly because, I'm faced with expectations of how I should conform to society through my gender everyday.

My very first memory was through my family. My mother was raised very conservative in South Texas and she truely believed that women should act or dress a certain way. She thought, that looking pretty was all the female species had going for them.Though it may not be her belief today, there was a time when she thought very seriously about the expectations society had for her and her family.

When I was fourteen years old she started to apply those expectations in my life. Before then, I never wore make up, acted  feminine, styled my hair, or cared much about my appearence as long as I knew I was happy. But one day, that all changed, when my mother started to buy me makeup that I refused to wear, and we would have arguements before school because I wasn't living up to her standards of how to dress. She'd tell me things like, "you'll never get married if you don't put on your make up everyday," and "you can't even expect someone to fall in love with you without your makeup".

To a fourteen year old girl, those sentences are very degrating, especially when you haven't lived long enough to understand the meanings of the words "love" or "marriage", and my mother wouldn't let me leave the car to attend school until I made myself look like a porcelin doll. This unfortunately,was the first memory i had of expectations for my gender, and now I can't leave the house without wearing some form of make up.

My recent memory of being faced with expectation for my gender, would be EVERYDAY when I attend school, work, or see my family. My work expects me to dress apropriately for my gender, by wearing feminine attire or wearing my hair in a more feminine manner. At school I'm expected by my peers to act a certain way or be a certain way. My family has expectations for my love life, or my future, and anything in between that they could care to argue about. I may not fit alot of societies expectations for my gender, but I can say that I am faced with them everyday and alot of the time, I'm judged for not fitting societies expectations of who I should be.

Thank you for reading, please expect to read more from me as I travel my way through life, love, and education. ~ Ashton R 1096